Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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