My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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