I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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