gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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