think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
