Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
