No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
