i can't believe i had my finger in that
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
