I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
