...so i touched it.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
