ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
