white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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