Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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