I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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