Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
