sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
