i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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