I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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