He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
