it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
where are you?
Hypothermia
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
