He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
