I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
