....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
