you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just found puke in my bra..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
