Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
