the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
bring money and cleavage
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
