"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
