he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
