So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
