i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We left the knife in your bed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
