Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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