what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
