At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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