Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
