help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
