I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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