i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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