I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
