i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Rumble strips road head = magical
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
