It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
