god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
