I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
