I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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