So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
