Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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