I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
