So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
