you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
