I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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