I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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