I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
